The grieving process will literally drain a ton of mental energy. Regular tasks in our day suddenly become far more difficult. There have been many days I haven’t even wanted to get out of bed. Regardless, I get up and my work and other daily chores get done, because they have to be. But, there are days that so hard to just function.
An extra chore or work project, however small, can feel like a massive undertaking. More precious mental energy has to be spent and it seems like we’re running on fumes as it is. Anxiety levels will also get higher, at least they do with me.
However, I had to force myself to do some those “extra” projects relating to my employment, or daily life. Sometimes, I would have to get into the car and go to the gym when I would rather just stay home.
One of my recent special project is getting completed. I have also done other small tasks that I was less than enthusiastic in putting together. But, once they were done, there was a sense of accomplishment, even with the smallest of projects. It did help breaking up the daily routine of just trying to get through the day. Going to the gym and just sitting on the stationary bicycle for 30 minutes was also helpful.
During this whole process over the last year, I found myself having to do so many thankless tasks. Instead of trying to do an entire project all at once, I divided into segments, which made it seem less consuming. Some have suggested to add an award system to a completed assignment. In my case, cookies and ice cream would be fine.
It’s getting close to one year since my beloved Sally passed away from cancer. This entire grieving process is slow, like trying to move through deep mud. I’m learning to dig deep and push forward, but I have a long way to go. Sometimes the big fulfillment is just making it through the day, even when my mood is way down.
The smallest accomplishments in our lives, especially during these horrible times, seem to help on some level. It reminds me of purpose and that I can somehow function when conditions become necessary. It may take longer to complete the small goals, but I will feel a bit better when they are.