It’s almost hard to believe that over a year ago I lived in a 3,300 square foot home that overlooked a lake. My wife, Sally, loved the home. I literally had to take up many jobs to help pay for the thing, but looking back, it was well worth it.
Once my wife passed away from cancer last May, I immediately put the house up for sale. It was our home, not mine. When Sally left this world, I only spent one additional night in the house. Her co-worker, who became good friends in a short period of time, literally put me up in her and husband’s home until it was time to leave.
I have a lot of admiration and compassion for those two people. They brought in a person who was very sad and did whatever they could to make living conditions as comfortable as possible.
Our home was beautiful, and she was the big reason for that. It was our sanctuary for over 12 years and many memories were made. That was one of the big reasons to sell the place. I just couldn’t bear walking into that house and not see her.
I completely understand that widowed persons will stay in the same house after their loved one has passed. It’s their home. In my case, the memories were too much for me.
So here I am, staying at a relative’s home, because it’s too difficult to be by myself. Still working, but the life I worked so hard to put together, along with my wife, is now gone. I’m trying not to ask for sympathy or pity, but it’s so hard to process on how things can change so quickly.
Looking to the future during this experience is almost impossible. However, I did make the decision to pursue a master’s degree. Where I end up in the long run is anybody’s guess.
It’s interesting that when you’re younger, homes and other possessions seem to be important. I always knew this, but After losing Sally, I realized more than ever that a house is merely four walls. It’s what’s inside that makes it a home.