My Grief Diet and Health

Going through the grief process, your health and diet change, at least it did for me. When Sally was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2016, it didn’t take long for my weight to drop about 10 pounds (4.5 kgs). During the care-giving, her passing and the grieving, my weight has dropped even further.

With the incredible stress of the situation, I eat just enough to keep up my strength. I’m amazed I didn’t get a cold or flu during the process. And now, my weight is the lowest since I was a kid in middle school. At last check, I was down from my peak of 175 pounds (79 kgs) to 138 (63 kgs), but the loss is not as fast as it once was.

I’ve been eating a little more, but the anxiety is still high. Even at rest, my heart would race. Others who have been going through a similar situation tell me that I’m burning so many calories from the mental stress, don’t count on gaining too much weight in the near future.

The grieving and the emotional roller-coaster takes its toll. I see the tremendous stress in my face. It’s amazing, people that saw me on my visit back to Idaho say how good I look. They’re probably being nice and supportive. I know that I’ve looked better.

I found out the hard way that my body can’t take the physical strain like it used to. My friend, Kristine, had me come to her gym and participate in her workouts. Kristine is a little older than me and I figured this wouldn’t be a problem. And, oh man, I was wrong.

About half-way through, what I would call a light to moderate workout, I had to stop. My chest got extremely tight, pain was shooting down my arm, looking pale and I had to sit down. At that moment, I was thinking this was a heart attack. Honestly, as I was sitting there wondering, there was no fright. Instead I thought, “If I’m having a heart attack, this would be embarrassing.”

Instead, it was one of those conditions when the heart reaches it’s maximum beats and starts to skip. I’ve now learned to make workouts more “steady” and not put too much pressure on my body. This has worked out a little better.

The weight loss has my friend, Tom, very concerned. He’s been pleading with me to go to the doctor. I keep telling him I’m fine and it’s not necessary. I’m fairly certain it’s the periods of anxiety, which I am working on.

It’s not a logical thing, but we’re not dealing with logic as the emotional drive still dominates. One reason is that I spent countless hours at cancer centers, blood centers, hospitals, chemotherapy and other centers watching my poor wife go through the agony of treatments. Right now, I just don’t want to go near any type of medical center unless it’s absolutely necessary and right now, it’s not.

However, my friend Tom is probably right. If you are going through the grieving process and something isn’t right, then it’s a good idea to see a doctor. Don’t be like me, stubborn and insist that everything is fine. And, try to eat as best as you can.

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