It’s day two of my trip to North Idaho to visit friends and have business meetings. Yesterday, I faced many fears of going to the places that made me and my beloved wife, Sally, very happy.
I had a hot chocolate with my friend Mike this morning. He mentioned that my weight loss worries him a bit, but I assured him that I will have a few more of those hot chocolates soon.
I’m obviously eating more as I had lunch with my good friend and co-worker, Michelle. We chatted for several hours and received tremendous insight for my future career.
I also had dinner with my long-time friend and business partner, Cliff. His wife, Sharon, was celebrating her birthday. Yes, she also commented about my weight loss. They have been an extended family with me and Sally, but I have to admit, it was a little tough having the nice dinner without her.
I’m still feeling pretty good about being back to the place I used to call home. Amazingly, there hasn’t been any feelings of overwhelming grief. Despite a few slight sensations of nostalgia and a tiny bit of sadness, the thoughts have been relatively peaceful.
Mike and I talked about being single and dating. Most of the people that I know very well, are well aware that I haven’t been single since I was 20 years old. I’m going to be 55 in a few months, eligible for the senior discount at Dennys and a few other spots. Everyone that knows me seems to be pleased with my progress and a few are making hints as to when I could at least start hanging out with someone.
To be honest, the thought does cross my mind. However, at least for now, I’m bound by my “eternal promise.” But, the door is not completely closed. There is a crack.
As mentioned earlier, my first day was spent overcoming my fears. I did pretty good, which included visiting my wife’s former work place. There is one, however, one thing that I’m not quite ready for. It’s going back to my old neighborhood and see the house that brought me joy for over 12 years. I could drive there and pass by, but why push it.
So, I have one final day. The time is already filling up with more business meetings. It’s been a good trip, and turned out far better than I could have imagined. It’s funny, sometimes in upcoming situations that we dread the most, turn out to be one of the nicest experiences. Life is always full of surprises, and occasionally, they are good ones.
My Widowers Journey 